63 Powerful Techniques to Carry On during a Dark Time in Life

Hello my friend, welcome into this safe space. If you searched for this, I hope you are not feeling too bad. I am sorry if you are feeling down. Sometimes we have bad days and we can step up our self care and return to serenity. However, there are other times where our discomfort is too much to be completely solved with additional self care. This is when it is best to reach out to a professional. Whether or not you are recieving help from a professional, everyone can benefit from some helpful resources (such as this one!) up their sleeve to reduce your discomfort at a dark time.

Wherever you are in life, whether you are experiencing mild discomfort or whether you are in a very dark place, I am here to tell you that everything will be alright. Carrying on may seem difficult at the moment, but you CAN do it.

I want you to take a deep breath, read this list and then make a decision to try to put aside your struggles for a little while. Even if it just 5 minutes, 10 minutes, an hour or a day. Take time out to readjust yourself and focus solely on comforting and calming yourself. I don’t know you but I know that you are unconditionally worthy and valuable… do this for yourself because you deserve the rest and the healing. Sometimes carrying on feels like a real struggle, that is when you have to take a step back and allow yourself to just exist- without expectations, without self-judgment.

How to Use this Guide of Ideas to Help you with Carrying On When you are in a Dark Place

I have compiled this list of things that you can do to comfort yourself when you are struggling and need some extra comfort. If you are in a dark place, these can really help you. You can use as many of these as you need, and you can use them as often as you need. Please also try to make an additional list with the specific things that personally make you feel more comforted and help you with carrying on when you in a dark time. Everyone finds different things reassuring and calming. Take 10 minutes out of your day to really try and think about what these things are to you. You can also add to this list throughout the day if you come up with new ideas of what makes you feel comforted.

I have split this list into 7 different sections. These sections include: comforting the senses and the body, comfort through distractions and activities, comfort through human contact, comfort through reassuring thoughts/acknowledgments, comfort through familiarity, comfort through inspiration. All of these sections are focussed on effective different ways you can comfort your mind and body.

Section 1- Calming the Senses and the Body to Get Through a Difficult Time

When we are stressed or upset, we tend to hold tension in our body. The emotion can weigh us down. Our body has an automatic fight or flight response and sometimes it is difficult for us to leave that state, even when we are not in the initial moment of panic/discomfort. In order to calm down our body (the state of our body has an impact on our mind), we must focus on specific techniques. You can learn more about the mind-body connection here https://www.annevandergiessen.com/post/nervous-system-and-mind-body-connection.

Here are some helpful techniques that will help you with carrying on through a dark time:

1. Deep – breathing: Watch a video on YouTube to guide you through breathing deeply. This is a simple step which many people overlook. When you are anxious (sometimes you may not actually be aware that you are anxious) you breathe less deeply. Less oxygen can get to your brain and as a result, you cannot think clearly. Calm down your nervous system by breathing deeply. Breathing through a dark time is a useful resource for carrying on when you want to give up.

2. Smell something: It can be an essential oil (I find lavender very calming), your hair, laundry, a cup of tea. Anything really. Try to really focus on the smell. When you use your senses you are telling your brain that you are safe. Sense have a big impact on your brain. You are reminding your brain that even though you may feel low in this dark time, you are alright.

3.Move your body: Exercise releases tension from your muscles and also releases endorphins. Endorphins are your body’s natural painkillers, they help to improve your mood. You can find out more about exercise and endorphins here https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/endorphins-the-brains-natural-pain-reliever.

4. Repetitive movements: Rock your body from side to side, throw something from one hand into the other hand. (this is a big thing I have learnt through therapy). Our brains love repetitive movements, they help us to process things more (think of dogs, dogs shake their bodies out- humans benefit from the same). Repetitive motion can reduce the anxious energy in our bodies, helping us to carry on through a challenging or dark time. You can find out more about repetitive movements here https://www.thecenterforgrowth.com/tips/releasing-anxiety-through-repetitive-motion#:~:text=Repetitive%20motion%20works%20in%20several%20ways.%20One.

5. Stretch your muscles: Clench all of your muscles and then unclench them slowly. This will release the tension in your body and help you to relax into yourself.

6. Make sure you are eating healthily: Sometimes when we are uncomfortable it is because we are not providing our bodies with the support that it needs. Our guts are our second brains. Take care of your body. You can find more about the link between the mind and the gut here https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/.

7. Put on lotion: Smooth it over your body and visualise how you are loving and taking care of yourself. During a dark time, sometimes we forget to do these small acts of self-care that make us feel looked-after.

8. Take a warm bath or have a warm drink: Sometimes we long for warmth, we can get this warmth from other people. Sometimes when we feel cold, numb or empty we need to provide that warmth ourselves. A warm bath wraps around us and feels like an embrace. A warm cup of tea can have a similar effect. Visualise the warmth and love pouring into your mind and body.

9. Wrap a blanket around yourself: This has a similar effect as taking a warm bath/having a hot drink. When you wrap a blanket around yourself you feel held and embraced. When carrying on seems like a huge challenge, sometimes all you need is the feeling of a warm embrace to lift you up out of your dark time.

Section 2: Using Distractions and Activities help with Carrying On During a Dark Time

Sometimes when we are down and need comfort we don’t want to think about the thing that is bothering us. Sometimes distractions do help. Distracting yourself does not mean that you are not dealing with your struggles. You can address the things that are bothering you and still do activities to give your mind a rest from your worries. Remember, if the thing you are worrying about is out of your control, there is no problem worrying about it. If the challenge is in your control you can make a list, write down your problem, and then return to trying to resolve it when you have more clarity of mind.

Here are some ideas of ways you can use distraction and activities to help you carry on when you are in a dark time:

1. Do something creative: Human beings are naturally creative. When we channel this creative energy we are telling our brains that we have the resources to innovate, and that this means we are safe. Carrying on during a dark time can be even more difficult when your brain mind believes you are in danger. If you want to make a vintage scrapbook you can follow my step-by-step tutorial https://serenelycreative.com/how-to-make-a-vintage-scrapbook-with-coffee-stained-paper/ this is a great creative activity. You could also make a Jar of Happiness, a creative activity to enhance your wellbeing https://serenelycreative.com/jar-of-happiness-enhance-your-mental-emotional-and-physical-wellbe/.

2.Express yourself through something artistic: This can be a painting, a poem, or anything really.

3.Listen to music, lie back and absorb the music: Music is great for calming your mind and body.

4. Watch calming scenery: This will help with calming down your nervous system and restoring relaxation to your nervous system.

5. Watch an interesting documentary or learn something new: When you engage your mind it will be too busy to worry about whatever is bothering you. Getting through a dark time can actually move you towards a state of knowledge and awareness.

6. Listen to someone else speaking and try to give them your full attention: When you are fully engaged in listening to someone else, your mind is too occupied to worry.

7. Do one of your hobbies, or learn a new hobby: As we mentioned earlier, learning is great for taking your mind of the problem (so that you can go back to solving it when you are calmer and can think more clearly).

8. Go for a walk, get outside: The fresh air and new environment are great for giving you a fresh perspective.

9. Read a book: If you want a change of scenery you could even bring your book to a nice café and get a coffee.

10. Cook, bake, or do a therapeutic activity: It is nice to watch a nice film/documentary while you are cooking or baking too. There is something very therapeutic about making something and seeing the process from beginning to end. Carrying on can seem like a burden, but if you take a little bit of time out to do something therapeutic it can really help you transform a dark time into a bright one.

11. Clean your room/living space: When your environment is clean, you can think more clearly. You feel like you are more on top of the situation. Even if cleaning your living space seems tedious, you will feel a bit better once it is done!

12. Go outside in nature: It is very inspiring. During a dark time, sometimes we forget that we are just a small part of a wonderful and interesting universe. Take some time out to re-ground yourself in the moment by going outside in nature.

Section 3- Ways to use Human Contact to Help you Get Through a Difficult Time

Sometimes when we feel bad, what we need is human contact. Human contact is linked to a longer life, you can find out more about that here https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/socialising-long-life-health-longevity-relationships-s857jhkb8. Human contact can also give you a new perspective when you are stuck in the darkness of your own brain during a dark time of your life.

1. Phone or visit a friend.

2. Share your worries with a trusted friend/family member: Sometimes they can help you view the situation in a healthier way. Utilizing your support system is important for helping you to get through a dark time.

3. Spend quality times with someone you love.

4. Have a laugh with someone: The though of carrying on can seem daunting when everything is dark. Add some light into the situation to lighten your mood.

5. Go on a walk with someone.

6. Help someone: Do a favour or visit someone who is lonely. When we do nice things for other people we feel good about ourselves.

7. Go to a public place: If you feel you don’t have people to interact with, go to a public place. Smile at people, give someone a compliment. Sometimes even this small exchange makes you feel noticed and uplifted when you are going through a dark time.

8. Receive a hug or give a hug: Physical touch can make you feel held during a difficult or dark time.

Section 4- How to Surround Yourself by Familiar and Comforting Things to Help You Get Through a Dark Time

Sometimes when we are having a difficult time, familiar things can comfort and reassure us.

Here is a list of some familiar things to comfort you during a difficult or dark time:

1. Spend time with someone you like and are close to: if you can’t spend time with them look at a picture of them or think about them.

2. Make yourself a comforting drink: Make sure the drink reminds you of something you associate with safety and security.

3. Wear clothes that remind you of safety and comfort: A warm cardigan or a fuzzy pair of socks can help you with carrying on if you feel cold and empty during a dark time.

4. Watch someone that you find comforting or funny: laughing is a great natural remedy for low mood.

5. Do an activity that you do often that you find comforting and familiar: Restore some normality to your life by doing this.

6. Listen to your favourite songs: You can even dance to it. This is a great way of getting through a dark time. Get out of your mind and into your body and your senses.

7. Watch your favourite classic movie: Watch a feel-good movie that makes you feel safe and warm.

Section 5: Finding Inspiration to Raise you Out of a Dark Time

1. Make a list of your goals: This will give you more direction and increase your level of motivation.

2. Make a list of your achievements: This will remind you how capable you are. You are so capable, you have endless potential.

3. Speak to a person that inspires you: This can lift your mood and motivate you.

4. Make a vision board: When you are able to visualise your dream life, you are more motivated to take action.

5. Look through Pinterest: There is so much great inspiration on Pinterest, you just have to be open to recieving it.

6. Take Action: Write down what your ideal life would look like and make a plan to move in the direction of that goal.

7. Go out in nature: Remember that you are part of a bigger picture, remember that there is a whole world out there for you to explore. There are endless possibilities out there. You CAN find happiness.

8. Give to other people: Really take a moment to enjoy the process of giving. Think about how fortunate you are to be able to help other people. Think about the great impact you are able to have.

9. Try something new: Our brains crave novelty and new experiences.

10. Plan to do something you find exciting: If you are unable to do something that inspires you now, plan to do something inspiring for a future date. Plan a trip into town, a hike with a friend, anything really… Inspiration has the power to comfort you when you are in a dark time. Just planning something you find inspiring can lift your mood.

11.Think about something you find exciting: If you aren’t able to plan something inspiring, lie back and think about something inspiring. Take time to really visualise it and soak up all of the feelings.

Section 6: Carrying On During a Dark Time with the Help of Comforting Reminders

Things to remember that can help you get through a dark time:

1. Remind yourself that you are having a difficult time: Be kind and forgiving.

2. Remind yourself that you are unconditionally worthy and valuable: You do not have to look a certain way, have other people love you, achieve certain things, etc. You are worthy and lovably in and of yourself.

3. Remind yourself that you cannot control the past or the future: Choose to let go of what you cannot control. You can find out more about how to let go of control here https://serenelycreative.com/the-power-of-letting-go-how-to-let-go-of-7-things-today/.

4. Remind yourself that there are different seasons of life: Life has different seasons. Good times will come again.

5. Try to make a list of the thing that you are grateful for: Many of us do not take the time out to remember the great blessings in our lives. Gratitude makes you feel more positive.

6. Make a list of what you can control and what you cannot control: Anything outside of your control make a conscious decision to let go of.

7. Remind yourself that you are safe: You are probably not in physical danger.

8. Remind yourself that you are strong: You are capable and you are able to face any challenges that come your way, even if you do not feel like that in this moment.

9. Make a list of five things you are proud of: It is so important to celebrate our wins, even our small wins.

Section 7: Carrying On in a Dark Time by Getting Comfort through Mindfulness

When you are mindful you are able to think more rationally. You are able to detach from irrational fears.

Here are some mindful thing you can do to comfort yourself:

1. Observe your thoughts instead of clinging on to them or judging them: This is a common technique used in DBT therapy. You can find out more about observing thoughts here https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/mindfulness/observing/.

2. Notice your judgments: Judgments can really impact our mood because judgments cause emotion. When we judge something as negative, it is not the actual event causing a low mood, but the judgment that we are making. We have the capability to reshape our judgments.

3. Label your feelings and identify why you are feeling the way you are feeling: When you label your feelings and understand them you are taking back the power over them.

4. Notice how your body feels: Identify areas of tension or stress in your body and lie back, visualise letting go of that tension. Stretch out your muscles. When we our going through a dark time we can hold tension in our bodies and we are usually not even aware of it. As we mentioned earlier, the mind and body are linked very closely. When you relax your body you are releasing tension in your mind too.

5. Journal for self discovery and a better awareness of how you are feeling: Once the thoughts are on the page allow them to leave your brain.

Rounding Up:

I hope this list helped you. It is just a starting point for you to really identify what helps you personally when you are feeling low. If you are feeling low, I sincerely hope you feel better soon. Remember that you are not alone, even if you feel alone. Try to reach out and please take care of yourself.

Sending love and hugs always,

Serenely Creative