How to Build your Inner Strength when Life Feels Painful
An In-Depth Guide to Building Inner Strength
Introduction on Inner Strength
Hello and welcome! Today you are going to learn how to build inner strength. I am sorry if you are going through a tough time- I am no stranger to how dark the world can feel at times. I am here to remind you that even if you have heard this time and time again, there are things that you can do to feel better and to protect your peace.
By building up your inner strength you will be able to gain back some control so that you are no longer a victim to your environment!
Today you will be given 18 ways to build up your inner strength with activities that you can try yourself. Everyone works differently so you do not need to try all of these at once. To start off with, maybe try to incorporate one or two of these techniques into your life- the technique that you resonate with the most! You can incorporate more of these inner strength tactics later but be careful not to overwhelm yourself with too many at once. What is Inner Strength?
Building Inner strength isn’t about being stoical and ignoring your emotions or pushing down away the tears. Inner strength is self-compassion, persistence, and acceptance. Inner strength is growing and accepting – learning to use your logic and understand your emotions so that you are the boss over how you feel. In order to protect your peace and protect your energy you need to reach a point where your emotions do not run the show and dictate to you! You choose how to run the show.
Why is it Important to Build Inner Strength?
Building inner strength is extremely important for overcoming difficult challenges. When you build inner strength, you develop self-discipline which is crucial for reaching your goals. You also learn to take the lead, rather than being led by your emotions. By doing this, you build a heightened level of self-awareness, self-compassion, and objectivity.
Inner strength enables you to be mindful and effective in what you are doing. In addition to this, inner strength builds up your resilience and helps you to rise above pain and suffering. Inner strength builds optimism and countless other important qualities. Ultimately, by building your inner strength you will in turn learn to protect your peace!
Techniques to Build your Inner Strength and Protect your Peace
Technique 1- Build Inner Strength by Distancing Yourself from Stressful Thoughts and Emotions
Sometimes when the world seems dark, scary, or stressful we can develop a tunnel vision where the only thing we can see is our problems. When we are so involved in our problems it can be difficult to see the world objectively. When we are anxious or emotional we actually cannot think logically. Therefore, the best thing to do when we are in this dark or stressful place is to take a step back.
Activities
Activity 1- Compartmentalise with a Worry List: Write the things that are causing you anxiety or negative feelings on a sheet of paper. Set yourself a limited window of time at the end of the day to go through the things on your list and come up with a plan of how to resolve them. If they can’t be resolved then cross them off because there is no point worrying about them, even if this activity feels anxiety provoking.
For the remainder of the day, when anxious or depressing thoughts come up simply observe them and write them down if you are finding it difficult to let go of them. Do not get stuck on them or ruminate about them. In the time outside of that limited problem-solving window, you do not need to worry about fixing your problems, you are choosing to take a break. Try to focus on what you are doing and bring your attention back to that task when your mind wanders. By doing this, you are learning to be effective with when and how you spend your energy.
Activity 2- Thought Diffusion: Learn how to diffuse your thoughts. You may not have heard of this term before so I’ll explain. When we experience upsetting thoughts, sometimes we can fuse with our thoughts and get stuck on them. An important part of building inner strength is learning to detach from your thoughts. You can learn about how to this using this helpful worksheet! https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/thought-defusion-techniques.
Technique 2- Protect Your Peace with Effective Problem-Solving
Our minds produce emotions to send signals to us and tell us that we are in danger, that there is a threat to us and we must act. A mind that lacks inner strength will get caught up in the stress of a percieved threat, without actually resolving anything. However, sometimes our minds can be over-protective and detect a threat where there is no real threat. Inner strength comes from your ability to resolve what needs to be resolved and let go of emotions that are not serving you.
Activities
Activity 1- Planning: Refer to technique 1, activity 1 to solve problems that can be resolved with actions.
Activity 2- when you can’t solve your problem: When it is a problem that can’t be resolved by taking actions, it is important to still acknowledge your struggle. You can do this by labelling the thing you are struggling with. For example, if you struggle with insecurities about a certain facial feature, label it as ‘insecurity about X’.
If you are following technique 1 by making a problem list, it is important to remember that the problems that you can’t resolve with physical actions may come up again and bother you during the day. If this happens, simply write them on your worry list again and go through the same process in your ‘problem resolving time’. Eventually your mind will pick up on the fact that there is no real threat to you and your negative emotions will reduce.
Sometimes, we think that a certain thing is a problem e.g. a relationship and we believe that the problem can’t be resolved. In reality, many times the thing that we think is the ‘problem’ isn’t the real threat. The real threat is something deeper (for example a deep fear of abandonment). This can be resolved with work and patience. Refer to technique 3 to find out more about this).
Technique 3- Develop Inner Strength by Asking yourself ‘Why do I Feel this Way?’
As we mentioned earlier, if you want to build your inner strength you need to protect your peace and energy. So many of us waste our energy stuck in problems that we are not effectively resolving or letting go of. Sometimes when we are triggered, the immediate trigger isn’t the real threat, the real threat is a much deeper fear. We need to understand this and get to the bottom of it to develop our inner strength. Our biggest fears are often linked to core beliefs that we form in childhood. These limiting beliefs have the ability to hold us back in every area of life. You can find out what the most common negative core beliefs are here https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/22714/negative-core-beliefs/.
Activities
Activity- figuring out core beliefs: When something triggers you (when I refer to the word ‘triggered’ I mean causes you stress, panic, anxiety, low mood, guilt, shame, etc). Ask yourself ‘why does this trigger me?’ and keep asking yourself that question until you get to your core belief.
For example, if you get stressed when someone doesn’t text you back ask yourself ‘why do I feel anxious about this? You then may identify that you feel afraid because you are scared that the person will leave you. Again, ask yourself ‘why do I feel anxious about this?’ You may then identify that you are anxious about that because you feel like they will leave you because you are not really worthy of their love. You can then ask yourself ‘why do I feel this way?’ and conclude that you have a core belief that you are unworthy or unlovable (these core beliefs are often at a deep-rooted, very subconscious level so it can take some work to uncover them).
When you have identified your core fears (and this is an ongoing process), you can then work on overcoming them which will in turn alleviate pain. It takes time and a lot of patience and mental energy to work through these beliefs but it is very worth it! Holding onto these beliefs are probably causing you more pain than resolving them ever will! You can do your own further research on how to do this. Even just the awareness of your core beliefs is so powerful in helping you to build your inner strength. Here is a helpful resource to aid you in challenging your core beliefs https://www.humancompassionproject.com/post/identifying-and-challenging-core-beliefs-12-helpful-worksheets.
Core beliefs can cause so much pain, anxiety, and suffering. I know from first hand experience. Really, if you conquer your core beliefs you can build your inner strength to a whole new level!
Technique 4- Provide for your Needs in Creative Ways to Protect your Peace
When we are triggered, even if we understand the cause of the trigger we may still struggle with painful emotions. The good news is that humans are incredibly creative. Creativity and the ability to adapt are so important when building inner strength! There is never just one way to relieve difficult emotions.
Activity
Activity – providing for yourself: when you are triggered by a problem that you can’t resolve or by a problem that is linked to a deep core belief/fear, find creative ways to relieve your own suffering and be your own provider.
For example, using the example we spoke about in technique 3: you get triggered by someone not texting you back due to a fear of abandonment based on the belief that you are unworthy of love. You can supplement the need to feel worthy of love with your own actions. For example, by calling a friend who makes you feel really worthy and appreciated, or by journaling/giving yourself a pep-talk with positive affirmations that remind you that you are worthy of love and acceptance. You could also make a list of all of the great things about yourself that make you feel good about yourself and worthy.
To build inner strength you need to develop trust in your abilities to protect your peace and provide your emotional needs.
Technique 5- Develop Inner Strength by Increasing the Volume of your Compassionate Voice
It is really hard to be in a dark or stressful place and sometimes it is even harder to get yourself out of that place. We need to boost ourselves and be compassionate with ourselves to build up our inner strength when we are having a hard time in life.
My therapist used a great example which I will share with you today. She said that when babies try to walk, they fall down. It is the encouragement of others that helps them get back up and try again, until eventually they master walking!
When we are struggling with our mental health, sometimes we fall but no one cheers us on or encourages us to get back up. Without that constant encouragement and celebrating our wins (when we take those few steps) we can lack motivation and decide not to get up and try again. The idea is that to build inner strength you need to treat yourself as a parent would treat their child- with care, encouragement, and discipline.
Activities
Activity 1: Celebrate your wins! Congratulate yourself for the positive steps you take! Try to congratulate yourself on at least one thing a day- even if it is a small thing.
Activity 2: Be kinder to yourself by reminding yourself often that you are valuable, worthy, lovable and capable.
Activity 3: Remind yourself that what you are going through is difficult. If your struggles are with your mental health, it may be difficult for other people to notice them and understand them properly because they may not be able to visibly see what you are going through. Remind yourself of this so that you do not feel put down by other people’s lack of understanding.
Activity 4: Try to become more aware of any unkind thoughts you are having towards yourself. When you are aware of these, try to replace them with kinder and more compassionate thoughts. Try to speak to yourself as you would speak to your child or speak to yourself as you would speak to a good friend.
Activity 5: Even if it sounds cringy, give yourself more pep-talks. If you want inner strength you need to be in constant dialogue with yourself, in a kind way of course!
Activity 6: Be considerate to other people but do not help others at the expense of your mental health. Do not say yes to everything if you are already overwhelmed. You need to protect your energy, protect your peace, and learn to prioritise your mental and physical wellbeing. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup!
Technique 6- Foster Gratitude and Love to Build your Inner Strength
When we are in a dark, lonely, or difficult place our lives can be dominated with feelings of fear, anxiety, panic, shame, guilt, hopelessness, etc. In order to develop inner strength, we must build our resilience, and this means adding some positive emotions to our lives! These positive emotions of love and gratitude can act like an energiser emotional buffer in our lives!
Sometimes everything seems negative and dark. We can fall into the trap of feeling like there are no positives in our lives. The truth is, we all have truly good blessings in our lives, we simply have to focus on them more. When we start noticing the positive, our minds actually start looking for even more positives which can lead us in the right direction! A direction of inner strength and inspiration!
Activities
Activity 1- Simple Pleasures: Once a day focus on one of the simple pleasures in your life. I have a list here for you: https://serenelycreative.com/71-simple-pleasures-to-live-for-when-life-feels-heavy/. This can be your morning coffee, the changing seasons, a short conversation with a friend, etc.
Try to pay complete attention to that simple pleasure, thinking about what it is doing for you and how life would be worse without it. You do not need to feel overwhelmingly grateful. You do not have to feel grateful for everything. Just for this one moment, bring your thoughts away from your pain, your life stresses, the things that are on your mind, and sink into the simple realisation that you have this one great thing.
Activity 2 – connection: When we are in a difficult season of life many of us tend to try to shrink and hide our struggles, or to isolate ourselves. This behaviour can be unhelpful because when we are experiencing pain, we actually need support and connection the most!
Try to connect to at least one person a day and bring mindfulness to this connection. Really notice the connection. If you are unable to really connect to someone you know by speaking to them, you can exchange a simple smile with a stranger or with someone you know.
The key is to pay attention to it and allow it to feel good for that moment. Sometimes when we are struggling, we do not allow ourselves to experience these simple joys, we feel as though they are unimportant. A smile can actually light a small fire in your heart. Connection is so powerful and so important. There are huge physiological benefits to connecting with others, you can find out more about it here https://sinkorswim5000.medium.com/title-flashing-a-smile-the-power-to-transform-a-strangers-day-190e8530ecef#:~:text=We%20humans%20are%20wired%20for%20connection%2C%20and%20a,the%20levels%20of%20stress-inducing%20cortisol%20in%20our%20bodies.
Technique 7- To Build Inner Strength, Figure Out which Small Things make you Feel Better!
As we mentioned previously, when trying to build inner strength it is so important to focus on and increase the positive feelings in your life. A person with inner strength has their own store of internal resources to help give them the boost they need when they feel low or stressed. This boost doesn’t have to be big, but it is often enough to shift their mood in (at least a slight) positive direction. This will also prevent their mood from spiralling into a more negative and stuck place.
Activity
Activity 1- increasing joy: Think about what has made you feel a little bit of joy in the past. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. For me, that thing is human connection. I can be feeling really negative and hopeless, thinking that nothing will help me but when I spend time with a friend it really uplifts me and changes my perspective.
Some ideas of small things that can help you include: seeing or chatting to a friend on the phone, watching a comedy, watching a comfort movie, doing some exercise, spending some time in nature, journaling, going for a walk with some music to clear your head, tidying your living space to help declutter your mind, trying something new and enjoyable – novelty can help inspire us again. You need to figure out what works for you.
When you have thought about the things that give you a boost, write them all down on a list. You may not feel like doing these things when you are in a bad place but if you have them all written down and accessible you are more likely to try them. The key to building inner strength is doing things that will help you even when you don’t feel like it!
Technique 8- Build Inner Strength by Remembering That not Everything is Black or White
To develop your inner strength, you need to develop your mental flexibility and reduce your mental rigidity! It is so important to remind yourself that you can have conflicting emotions and that it is okay! You can feel happy and also feel sad. You can feel happy and feel threatened. At times you may also feel stressed and content at the same time.
When we view the world in a rigid way where we are either ‘happy’ or ‘sad’, ‘doing well’ or ‘doing badly’ we can hugely limit our progress. Progress is messy! Nothing is perfect. Reaching our full potential and building a fulfilling and content life is a process!
If we see the world in a rigid way we may try to block our own happiness. Feeling positive and negative emotions at the same time may threaten us. We can fall into the false-belief trap of thinking that we can’t be struggling and feel ‘not okay’ and still have moments of true happiness. As a result, we may think that in order to protect ourselves we must sit in the pain and block out any happiness.
Sometimes pain can actually lead us to more fulfilling lives. Pain is one of the colours of life. Try to live moment to moment. Do not brand yourself. If you are happy even in times of hardship, it doesn’t mean that you are ignoring your problem or reducing them. Try not to overly identify with your emotions. When you identify as a ‘sad person’ or an ‘anxious person’ you are limiting your emotional experience and the possibility of feeling happy and content.
Activities
Activity- building awareness: Become more aware of rigid thought patterns. If you notice yourself having rigid, all-or-nothing thoughts or beliefs take a deep breath and then calmly reassure yourself. Tell yourself that it is okay to be flexible, that you can just go with the moment and experience whatever you are experiencing without branding anything as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or pushing out any happiness.
Technique 9- Use Mindfulness to Live Moment by Moment and Build Inner Strength
When we are going through a stressful or painful time, it can be very common to use avoidance techniques and distract ourselves by constantly procrastinating or multitasking. This can appear to temporarily reduce our stress by distracting us but in reality, it is an ineffective way of functioning. Procrastinating or multitasking can mean that we do not get things done effectively. It can also result in a disconnect where we feel numb and struggle to connect to ourselves and our environments because we have lacked mindfulness for so long.
In addition to this, when we are stressed or feel low many of us fall into the trap of worrying about how we will cope with the future. Sometimes everything feels overwhelming, and the future can stretch out in front of us like a vast and never-ending mountain that we need to climb.
The solution to both of these problems is bringing our attention to the moment. Living second by second. All you need to do is focus on the moment. Inner strength comes when we learn how to protect our peace and conserve our energy. There is no point worrying about the future, things are always changing. All you need to do is focus on trying your best moment to moment. Bringing mindfulness to your life by living only in the present. Not in the past, not in the future.
Activity
Activity- living with mindfulness: Try to practice mindfulness by focusing on the moment. Even if you are just sitting alone in silence and doing nothing, focus your full attention on that. Notice how you feel, observe your thoughts, notice the temperature, what your surroundings look like…If you notice that you are worrying about the past or future take a deep breath and then tell yourself ‘I notice I had a thought that…’, etc. By doing this, you are not getting sucked into the content of your thoughts. You are staying grounded in the present.
Remember that mindfulness is a skill, and it is a skill that is essential for building up inner strength. As we mentioned earlier, building up mindfulness takes time and practice. Do not expect yourself to be able to be constantly mindful. Start small (for example once or twice a day) and then work on building it up from there.
Technique 10- Build your Inner Strength by Improving your Morning and Night Routine
An important part of building inner strength is learning how to recharge ourselves. When life is difficult, we can wake up feeling drained at the thought of the day ahead. This sets the day off on a bad note.
After a long, difficult day we can also go to bed feeling drained. This makes it even more likely that we will wake up with a heavy feeling.
In order to be consistent with inner strength activities, we need to recharge our energy and stay motivated. This is so that we can stay self-disciplined. We can do this by crafting morning and night routines that recharge our energy and give us a boost of strength and positivity. These morning and night routines each take about 7 minutes and have a huge impact on your wellbeing.
Activities
Activity 1- night routine: To boost your inner strength capabilities and recharge your energy, try to do this every night before bed.
- First, close your eyes and take deep breaths- in through your nose, pause, and then out slowly through your mouth. Repeat this at least 5 times.
2. Next, do a body scan and try to identify where in the body there is tension. You can find out how to do a body scan here https://www.verywellmind.com/body-scan-meditation-why-and-how-3144782.
3. Next identify your anxious thoughts, label them, and then tell yourself they are thoughts. Now is a time where you are not expected to do or solve anything. You can deal with your problems during the day (in a logical way of course, refer to technique 2).
4. Now, name a few things that you have done well that day- your ‘celebrations’. Inner strength is built up when we encourage and motivate ourselves!
5. Next, we are going to do some gratitude mindfulness- think about something that you really appreciated in the day. It can be a big thing or a small thing. Close your eyes and really try to picture it and feel better for it.
Activity 2- morning routine:
- First, take some deep breaths. In through the nose, pause, and then out slowly through the mouth. Make sure to focus completely on your breathes. You can notice your thoughts but do not get stuck on them. Here are 5 breathing techniques for you to try out https://psychcentral.com/stress/learning-deep-breathing#alternate-nostril-breathing. See which one works for you, everyone is different.
2. Next, I want you to bring mindfulness to the anxieties that are on your mind. I want you to go through them, label them and reassure yourself that you are safe and that as long as you are doing your best, that is enough. I want you to write your anxieties down on your ‘worry list’ (which we talked about in technique 1, activity 1). When they are on the paper, you no longer need to think about them.
3. Next, I want you to think about one thing you are looking forward to in the day. Close your eyes are really focus on this thing for a moment.
4. Lastly, I want you to list (in your mind or on paper) a few things that you want to achieve in your day. These can be physical actions or mental goals (like talking to yourself more kindly).
Technique 11- Identify your Vulnerabilities and Build a level of Protection Around Them
Inner strength is about planning! It is so important to learn how to protect yourself. To do this, first you need to identify your vulnerabilities. Every time you get triggered, try to make a note of it- that trigger is one of your vulnerabilities. When you have a list of your main vulnerabilities you can start planning. When you know how to build fences around your vulnerabilities you can really protect your peace!
Activities
Activity 1- identifying your triggers and building fences: Plan in advance of certain triggers so that you have resources to fall back on when you are triggered. For example, if you know that seeing a certain person drains your energy, plan to see that person when you have the evening free and use your evening to recharge. You can set up a ‘recharge station’ in advance – put a journal out, some pyjamas out, some snacks… so that you actually follow your plan and recharge.
Another example – if you struggle with asking for help. Bring something with you that will give you confidence when you plan to ask for help (for example earphones and calming music so that you can calm down, etc).
If you get triggered by certain things on the internet/social media, unfollow the people who trigger you and try to create boundaries for yourself where you only go on social media for a small amount of time each day. Self-discipline is the strongest form of inner strength.
If you know that you find a particular thing difficult, prepare in advance and give yourself a pep-talk. Prepare some things to help you unwind after, maybe tell the people you live with that you have a particular difficult time with a particular thing so that they can support you and be understanding if you need some time to recharge.
Technique 12- Build Inner Strength by Building a Positive Mindset
Inner strength is not only about reducing the attention we give to negativity. It is also about building up our own positive mindset! We need to feed our brains healthy thoughts if we want our brains to evolve in a positive way.
When building inner strength, it is so important to remember that negative thoughts can wire our brains in a negative way, but positive thoughts can rewire our brains in a positive way! It takes strength and hard work, but we can rewire our brains. We can change negative patterns, you can learn more about that here https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changing-minds/202010/can-we-rewire-our-brains.
Inner strength means working towards feeling the way you want to feel, even if at the moment you feel so down that being ‘happy’ doesn’t look realistic or possible. You must start somewhere.
Activities
Activity 1- positive affirmations: First, identify the beliefs that holding you back the most. You can refer to technique 3 for help identifying negative core beliefs. You can also journal to find out your negative beliefs. For help with identifying your negative core beliefs you can check out this article https://ambitiouslyalexa.com/journal-prompts-for-limiting-beliefs/.
When you have identified your negative beliefs, come up with affirmations that counter those beliefs. For example, if you have a fear of abandonment you can say ‘I am worthy of love and affection’, ‘I can handle any situation I am put in’, ‘I do not need to be afraid, I am strong alone and I can handle abandonment’, ‘I deserve loving and caring relationships’, etc…
Try to repeat these affirmations to yourself with conviction and a confident posture and voice three times a day. Consistency is the key here! Even if it feels ridiculous at the moment, if you are consistent, you will start believing the affirmations!
Activity 2 – replacing thoughts: Try to replace negative thoughts with positive or neutral ones. If you notice you are being very negative about something, try to add a positive thought into the mix!
Technique 13: Protect your Peace by Setting Time to Release Negative Emotion
Crying is not weak. Sometimes when we are struggling it can be good to set ourselves a proper time to release our emotions. In fact, in order to have inner strength, we must release some of our emotions. If we are constantly dwelling on our painful feelings, it can be counterproductive. We DO need to release them, but we must not focus on them for too long. If we focus on them for too long, negativity will dominate our mindset.
Activity
Activity- releasing negative emotion: Set yourself an amount of time- if you can sense you are struggling, to cry, scream, and release the emotion. The key is, when you have released some of that tension, try not to carry on dwelling on the negative.
Technique 14- Build Inner Strength Using Creative Outlets
As we just mentioned, it is so important to release the tension in our minds. An alternative way of doing this is through harnessing our creativity. Creative activities are deeply healing and inspiring.
We can develop inner strength by providing ourselves with healthy and positive inputs. Our brains actually crave creativity. Creativity doesn’t need to be art; it can be anything really. Creativity can be dancing, writing, cooking… When you are inspired it gives you a new outlook that increases your inner strength and recharges you. Creative activities relax you and take your mind off whatever is bothering you- especially if you do them mindfully.
Activity- Creative Activities
Try to set yourself a certain amount of time each day or each week (whatever is doable for you) to be creative. In that creative time, focus your full attention on the creative activity you are doing. If you want to learn how to mindfully make a vintage scrapbook I have a step-by-step mindful tutorial for you here https://serenelycreative.com/how-to-make-a-vintage-scrapbook-be-creative-and-mindful/.
Technique 15- Learning to Observe rather than Judge
This one is so important. A huge part of building up your inner strength is realising that you are not your thoughts or feelings. You do not need to pay attention to them if they don’t help you and. You don’t always have to identify with them or take them seriously.
When we judge, it is that judgment that causes the emotion. The thought itself is just a thought- it is neutral.
As soon as we judge a person, thought, or thing, we are assigning emotions and a worth to them. When you learnt to observe thoughts, feelings, and situations and describe them instead of judging them you gain an extra level of objectivity. You have built up your inner strength and you are no longer led by your emotions. You are the boss; your emotions are no longer the boss.
Activity- Describing instead of Judging
Learn how to not overly associate yourself with your feelings. You are not your feelings; you are simply feeling your feelings. When you are triggered and feel overtaken by emotion, try to describe the situation in your head using descriptive words instead of judging ones e.g. if person X lets you down by standing you up, you do not need to think ‘person X doesn’t care about me, I must be unworthy and pathetic’ Instead you can think ‘I am feeling upset because person X was let me down which has made me feel as though person X doesn’t value my time’.
To learn more about this DBT technique of observing and describing rather than judging, you can read this article (which also includes exercises) https://dbtselfhelp.com/what-skills-observe-describe-participate/ For a better understanding of how to be non-judgmental you can read this article which includes great examples https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/mindfulness/letting-go/.
Technique 16- Protect your Peace by Realising that you Don’t Need to Speed Things Up and be Happy
When we are in a difficult season of life it can be tempting to put pressure on ourselves to be happy again. The problem is this often results in the opposite of the desired result. Try to accept that one day you will feel better again, but that for now you accept how you feel. When you accept that you will work with what you are feeling in the moment (instead of placing unrealistic expectations on yourself), you will be able to heal at your own pace.
Sometimes when we feel low our mind is telling us that we need to slow down and take a break. Try to take a step back and add more relaxing things to your life. Try to rely more on your support network if you have one and you think it would help by taking some of the pressure off.
You will naturally heal when you reduce your expectations because expectations are a real happiness killer!
Activity- accepting how you feel
Try to remind regularly remind yourself that how you are feeling at the moment is okay. You are working towards feeling better at your own pace. There are no expectations to feel amazing by tomorrow, the only expectations you have should be to try your best at your own pace. Inner strength building isn’t an overnight thing and healing takes time and patience!
Technique 17- Build Inner Strength by Expanding your Perspective
Sometimes when we are in a dark or difficult place, we can get caught up in our thoughts and feelings, isolating ourselves from the world. We may see the world through the lens of our own painful outlook.
You can build inner peace by broadening your perspective. When you broaden your perspective you can see other’s point-of-views, you can also access the more objective and positive outlooks of those who are in the light.
Activity- broadening your perspective
Broaden your perspective by reaching out to other people and spending time with other people instead of isolating yourself. Try to visit different places and see how different groups of people live. Watch documentaries about different thing. Maybe even try to learn a new language! You can build inner strength by changing your narrative. You can change your narrative by expanding your view of the world.
18- Build your Inner Strength by Breaking Free of a Victim Mentality
In order to build inner strength, we need to communicate with ourselves openly. Sometimes when we are in a dark place, we can get stuck in a victim mentality. We should be compassionate to ourselves and understanding. The victim mentality is a coping mechanism, it has its place for some people but for those of us who want to develop greater inner strength, this mentality has to go!
When we view ourselves as a victim, we constantly think in a downtrodden, negative mindset which ultimately impacts our future decisions, only leading to more negativity. Thinking with a victim mentality makes it easy for us to make excuses for ourselves and push off our responsibilities. This can result in a lack of self-discipline and ultimately a stagnancy. We can’t grow and develop if we don’t make changes. We can’t build our inner strength if we don’t make changes, and when we think with a victim mentality, we are unlikely to make changes. Through the lens of a victim mindset, we my believe that our changes will not do anything, that all of the pain we are going through can only be changed by external things.
Activity- breaking free of the victim mentality
So, lets break free of the victim mentality together and build our inner strength! I have been there, and I know how difficult it can be to admit that there are things we can do to feel better, that not everything is attacking us.
To break free of the victim mentality, start by developing more mindfulness of your thought processes. When you notice you are resistant to helping yourself, or you are blaming everything on outside events, try to take a deep breath. After that, remind yourself that difficult things may have happened/be happening to you but that there are some things you can do to feel better. In the long-term, dwelling in self-pity will not help you. I am only telling you this because I have been there myself! You are strong, building up inner strength is not for the faint hearted, but it is totally worth it!
Round -Up and Conclusion
Today you learnt 18 ways to build your inner strength. Inner strength takes work and patience to build. I am telling you though, you can do it and it is so worth it! When you have inner strength you can conquer the world. You have a resilience and you are no longer an emotional rollercoaster, pushed around by the difficulty of the world. You are the boss! So, if you want to protect your peace, inner strength building is the way to go!
Thank you for being here today! Remember, you can return to this in-depth guide on inner strength whenever you need a boost! Please share this guide with anyone who you think it will benefit. Well done for taking action towards building your inner strength, you are a hero!
Sending love and hugs,
Yasmin
