How to Make a Jar of Happiness to Enhance your Wellbeing
Welcome in my friend, I am so happy to have you here. Today we will be making a Jar of Happiness. Through this simple and effective project we can move towards a state of inner calm and better emotional, mental and physical wellbeing! A Jar of Happiness is a great resource to help you to stabilise yourself. It will help you to regulate your emotions and respond calmly to triggering situations, difficult emotions, harmful thoughts and beliefs and challenging relationships.
So, what is a Jar of Happiness?
A Jar of Happiness is a jar containing quotes, memories, advice, notes of self-talk and affirmations. These notes are personalised to respond to your biggest triggers and your most difficult emotions and common situations. When you are struggling, you can simply pull out one of your notes and read it. It will help you to calm yourself down, self-soothe and know what to do next. The notes are colour coded so that you do not have to sort through all of them. You will always pull out a relevant note for your specific situation!
Why should I make a Jar of Happiness?
So many of us rely on those around for comfort when we are struggling. A great support network is very valuable, but we must not overlook the value of our internal resources. Sometimes we are the only ones who know what is best for us. We can’t expect other people to support us constantly. Sometimes we need to be our own support. Sometimes we have to build up a bank of our own resources! Creating a Jar of Happiness will help you to do this!
Preparing notes and advice for ourselves before a triggering situation will help us to use the internal wisdom we all already have. We struggle to think wisely when our minds are clouded by emotion. These wise pre-prepared notes can effectively guide us through challenging times!
This project is a great resource for when you are in a bad mood or for when you simply need a pick-me-up. Self-soothing is an extremely important skill. We all have a part of us that needs someone to tell us that we are okay and that everything is going to be alright. We can be that someone, reassuring ourselves!
Your Jar of Happiness can be updated as your needs change. The process of making this project will also encourage greater introspection and self-awareness. This will also help you to move towards a place of peace.
Making Your Jar of Happiness
The supplies you will need to make your Jar of Happiness include
An old Jar
Paper/cardboard
Scissors
A pen
Washi tape
Stickers (optional)
Instant coffee granules (optional)
Paint brush (optional)
Paint (optional)
Making Your Jar of Happiness – Step 1: Identifying your challenges
To make your Jar of Happiness the most helpful try to identify the times when you are struggling the most. Think of your biggest challenges, your most common negative emotions, and any recurrent stresses that you have (for example, feeling particularly stressed when meeting with a certain person, or during a certain time of the week).
Try to come up with 6 of your most commonly distressing situations, emotions and/or behaviours. These are the challenges that you are going to try to tackle with your Jar of Happiness. Remember that these situations do not have to be intensely distressing. Even situations that are slightly uncomfortable can be improved using a Jar of Happiness!
Examples of Challenges to Identify
Challenges relating to emotions: These emotions can be guilt, jealousy, loneliness, anger, resentment, etc. I have even included happiness on my list because happiness is often combined with the fear of loss for me (I fear losing the thing that is making me happy).
Challenges relating to thoughts: This can include recurrent unhelpful or distressing thoughts such as self-doubt, thoughts relating to inadequacy, perfectionistic thoughts, negative thoughts about the future, negative judgements of our past actions, etc. These are great to include in your Jar of Happiness because thoughts directly impact our moods and behaviours!
Challenges relating to our behaviours: This can include self-sabotaging behaviours, procrastination, lack of mindfulness, harmful reactions to other people, etc.
Challenges relating to situations/relationships: This includes recurrent situations or interactions with others that you find particularly challenging (an example of this is feeling drained after spending time with a particular person). This can also include certain times of the month, week, or day where you feel more tired or less resourceful. Using your Jar of Happiness to plan responses before these situations can help you to react more effectively!
Challenges relating to beliefs: These include challenges such as insecurity, self-doubt, paranoia, fear, etc. relating to our core beliefs. We all have beliefs about ourselves and the world. If you delve into the enneagram or do some shadow work, you can uncover these beliefs that hold you back. Targeting these beliefs in your Jar of Happiness can help you start to shift these beliefs into more positive ones!
How to make your Jar of Happiness- Step 2: Writing Content for your Jar
The next step to make your Jar of Happiness includes finding your positive memories, quotes, affirmations, advice, and activities for each of the 6 situations (e.g. anxiety, insecurity, difficulty after work, etc) you have selected. We are going to call these notes. For each of your 6 situations aim to come up with 10 notes.
Remember though that your Jar of Happiness is yours so you can personalise it as much as you want so that it will best help you!
These notes can include:
Memories
Sometimes, including memories in your Jar of Happiness can be very effective. This can work for negative beliefs that you want to target. For example, if you have a core belief/fear that you are unintelligent you can write down times when you felt intelligent, any compliments that people have given you, and things that you have achieved.
Alternatively, adding helpful memories to your Jar of Happiness can help to regulate your mood/emotions. If you are targeting anger towards a certain person, you can include memories of a time you were in the same situation, and how you felt in that situation. If you often feel anxious, you can write about a peaceful memory where you really felt safe and secure. A key tip is to include sensory details in the memory (such as smells, textures, sounds, tastes) so that you can close your eyes and really visualise the memory. This will bring you back to a calm, safe, peaceful place.
Quotes
Quotes can be very uplifting for when you need inspiration (one of my 6 situations is feeling unmotivated and quotes really help here).
You can use quotes to target certain thoughts, beliefs, and emotions as well as situations. Positive and uplifting quotes can be found on Pinterest. You can also search for quotes related to specific things on google and pick out the ones you resonate with the most.
Alternatively, you can find quotes said by famous people you look up to, or by family members, or friends who have said something that has a positive impact on you. You can write down quotes from songs or movies as well. These are great to include in your Jar of Happiness!
For example, I have a core belief that I am defective and not good enough so the quote ‘Ring the bells that still can ring, forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in’ by Leonard Cohen helps to centre me.
If you often feel sad, write down a quote from your favourite comedy, or write down something that someone once said that made you laugh!
If you feel anxious, write down quotes that help to ground you. Here are some quotes to help with anxiety https://parade.com/951718/parade/anxiety-quotes/ .
Affirmations
Sometimes, when you need a pick me up all you need is to hear a supportive affirmation from yourself. You can tailor these affirmations to your 6 specific situations. For example, if you are often anxious in social setting you can write an affirmation ‘I am safe when I am with other people, and I am liked by others’ or if you struggle with self-worth you can write ‘I have inherent value just for being’.
If you are low you can write ‘I have gotten through a difficult time before, this mood will not last forever’ or ‘I am able to handle this, I am able to take things one step at a time and be kind to myself’. You can also write things you like about yourself such as: ‘I am intelligent’, ‘I am worthy’, ‘I am loved by many’ or ‘there are great things in my life that I am grateful for’.
Through therapy I have learnt that over time you can come to believe these affirmations if you repeat them to yourself regularly with conviction.
It is so important to remember that while negative thoughts can wire our brains in a certain way, positive thoughts can too! You can rewire your brain by changing your thinking patterns!
Here are some helpful examples of affirmations https://www.goodgoodgood.co/articles/positive-affirmations.
Pep-Talk
Sometimes when we are in a difficult situation, we need to hear the truth. You can include personal pep-talks in your Jar of Happiness. These can be things that other people have said to you that you needed to hear in a certain situation (that will continue to benefit you to hear). You could also include your own personal pep-talk to yourself in your Jar of Happiness.
This can be like a little personal letter to yourself. Sometimes we know what is right, wise, and logical but we do not want to accept it in the moment. Writing yourself these pep-talks before the trigger can mean that when you are triggered you are reminded of what you need to hear in that moment.
When we are emotional, we cannot make wise judgments. Writing yourself a note telling yourself that your judgments are not reliable can help immensely. For example, if I am targeting feeling insecure, I can write myself a note addressed to myself saying that I worthy, that I am loved and that I matter. I can tell myself that at the moment because I am so emotional, I cannot think logically and therefore I am in no mind to make judgements on myself or criticise myself.
Advice
Sometimes when we are feeling bad, we need to take proper steps to feel better. You can include advice of what to do in your Jar of Happiness. For example, if you are anxious you can tell yourself to take 3 deep breaths and then listen to some calming music.
If you are feeling uninspired you can tell yourself to make yourself a drink that you enjoy, watch videos of people who inspire you, research some life goals that you have and make a Pinterest vision board.
If you are feeling low you can tell yourself to make a clear decision to either go against your feeling and do happy things to try and shift the mood, or you can tell yourself that you will make the most of how you are feeling. You can do this by listening to dark music, eating dark chocolate, painting your nails a dark colour, watching sad film, writing some dark poetry, etc.
You should try and give yourself advice personalised to your needs; everyone benefits from different advice. Different things work for different people. To come up with the right advice to include in your Jar of Happiness you can think about what things have helped you in the past. If you still cannot come up with advice, you can ask other people what helps them. You can also research practical advice online for your specific needs.
Making a Jar of Happiness- Step 3: Assembling the Project
First, we will start off by making the cards to write on. I would suggest making around 10 cards for each of your 6 situations.
This is optional, but I painted my paper using acrylic paint heavily diluted with water (to make the colours lighter). I also used instant coffee granules added and mixed with water to stain some of my paper. I ended up with a total of 6 different colours (one colour for each of my situations).
Once the paper had dried, I stuck the coloured papers to cream coloured card so that they would stand up straighter in the jar (you do not have to do this, but it makes the notes have a nicer finish).
Once I had done that, I used 6 different washi tapes to colour code my different situations.
If you don’t have washi tape and you do not have acrylic paint, you can use colouring pens or pencils. You could also use coloured pieces of card to colour code your notes for your 6 different situations.
I then got an old mason jar and recycled it by washing it out and removing the label (mine was an old glass pickle jar). You can paint the lid of your jar to make it look more aesthetically appealing. You can also decorate your jar with washi tape and stickers. I used leaf shaped stickers and painted my lid and the base of my jar lilac.
You can make a label for your Jar of Happiness and stick it inside the jar with tape before putting your notes inside.
Once you have done that, you can make yourself a code sheet as shown below. This will help you to quickly access your notes for your different situations.
Using your Jar of Happiness
You can use your Jar of Happiness by picking out a card every time you are feeling triggered. If you think you will be triggered later on and you are out during the day, pick one out in the morning and have a look at it. You could even take a picture of it to prepare yourself mentally for the day.
If your situation changes and the same things no longer trigger you, you can make new cards. You can also switch up the cards in your Jar of Happiness every few months so that you do not get bored of them.
Today we made a Jar of Happiness with advice, quotes, affirmations, memories and pep-talks in it. This Jar of Happiness will help you to respond better to difficult thoughts, emotions, beliefs and situations!
I hope I was able to help you today and I feel so privileged to have had you here today. Please remember to take care of yourself and be compassionate to yourself. It is so important!
If you have enjoyed making your Jar of Happiness, it is very likely that you will enjoy this therapeutic, guided craft – making a beautiful vintage journal! Journaling is a great release for your mind, and if you can, why not make your own? It will make the whole process more meaningful. You can find the tutorial here: https://serenelycreative.com/how-to-make-a-vintage-scrapbook-with-coffee-stained-paper/.
Part of feeling content and serene is learning how to be the master of your own emotions. You can do this by making a conscious choice to release control. If you want to find out how to release control, you can visit this page https://serenelycreative.com/the-power-of-letting-go-how-to-let-go-of-7-things-today/.
Love and hugs,
Yasmin
